Once you realize your words matter, you’ll be able to adapt your vocabulary to see positive change.
There’s no doubt that how we speak to ourselves and about ourselves subconsciously affects our perceptions of our self-worth or value. What may seem insignificant, or even normal, may actually be causing damage to our personalities. Spend a day making yourself aware of your own word choices, even if they just come up in your thoughts and are never spoken. Read through these common phrases and try to catch yourself in time to use their more positive alternatives instead.
Stop saying: I can’t
Start saying: I can
Self-doubt is a huge player in the confidence game. Overcoming it doesn’t mean evolving into an egotistical maniac, but it does mean starting from a place where you acknowledge your capabilities. A new challenge should be looked at optimistically, rather than skeptically, which psychologically sets you up for failure.
Stop saying: I failed
Start saying: I’m learning
Mistakes are made. By everyone. Regularly. Rather than being hard on yourself when something doesn’t go as planned, take the opportunity to correct the issue and create a better outcome. The best learning experiences usually come from mistakes. This is how you grow.
Stop saying: It’s fine
Start saying: It’s not fine
There are many situations when we stay quiet about how we feel because we want to be nice or a team player. There are many conversations left unfinished to avoid seeming too bossy. There are many encounters we let go of because we believe we need to do so to remain safe or avoid confrontation. Whether it’s a case of disrespect, sexism, harassment or other prejudice, you have the right to stand up for yourself! If something isn’t fine, don’t lower your standards to make it seem more acceptable.
Stop saying: Always and never
Start saying: Deadline-free language
The problem with these two words are that they’re overly dramatic and they’re rarely accurate. Saying that you’re “never going to close a deal” or “always mess up at the last moment” just isn’t true. Using clearly exaggerated words makes colleagues and friends doubt the actual severity of situations you describe, and it can even cause unnecessary stress on you subconsciously just by repeating these words and coming to believe them.
Stop saying: I’m a mess
Start saying: I’m getting it together
The fact that you’ve noticed you haven’t reached the end goal yet just means you’re still on your way there. The fact that you haven’t abandoned your end goal means you’re still motivated to achieve it. This is a positive thing that shouldn’t be downplayed. Every major victory has tiny victories along the way, and it’s likely some significant milestones have been reached on this quest, no matter how far along the path.